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The problem with winning the rat race is you're still a ratLily Tomlin
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The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.George Carlin
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Streitkultur
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Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' Some people dream of things that never were and ask, 'Why not?' Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.George Carlin
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quitGeorge Carlin
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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?George Carlin
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Atheism is a non-prophet organizationGeorge Carlin
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I was coming home from kindergarten - well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.Ellen DeGeneres
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You're only as good as your last haircutFran Lebowitz
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There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about itDennis Miller
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There cannot be a crisis next week - my schedule is already fullHenry Alfred Kissinger
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Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have childrenSamuel Butler d.J.
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Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard itLaurence J. Peter
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My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?Margaret Smith
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she isEllen DeGeneres
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In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks firstGeorge Carlin
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I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with meElayne Boosler
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I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside downMitch Hedberg
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I was born in very sorry circumstances - both of my parents were very sorryNorman Wisdom
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I used to sell furniture for a living - the trouble was, it was my ownLes Dawson
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I have never been hurt by what I have not saidCalvin Coolidge
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I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're deadSamuel Goldwyn
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I cannot sing, dance or act - what else would I be but a talk show hostDavid Letterman
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He taught me housekeeping - when I divorce I keep the houseZsa Zsa Gabor
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Guilt is the gift that keeps on givingErma Bombeck
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Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the companyMark Twain Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 21. April 1910) Zur Autorenbiographie
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Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyesJim Carrey
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All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your heightCasey Stengel
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The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptionsOliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 7. Oktober 1894) Zur Autorenbiographie
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The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are movingOliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 7. Oktober 1894) Zur Autorenbiographie
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BrunoVomHumor-Depot
Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trustOliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 7. Oktober 1894) Zur Autorenbiographie
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Love is the master key that opens the gates of happinessOliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 7. Oktober 1894) Zur Autorenbiographie
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Life is painting a picture, not doing a sumOliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 7. Oktober 1894) Zur Autorenbiographie
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If I were dying my last words would be: Have faith and pursue the unknown endOliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 7. Oktober 1894) Zur Autorenbiographie
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I don't generally feel anything until noon, then it's time for my napOliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 7. Oktober 1894) Zur Autorenbiographie
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Fame usually comes to those who are thinking about something elseOliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 7. Oktober 1894) Zur Autorenbiographie
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Don't be "consistent" but be simple trueOliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 7. Oktober 1894) Zur Autorenbiographie
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Old age is fifteen years older than I amOliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 7. Oktober 1894) Zur Autorenbiographie
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Wüssten wir, wie sehr wir einander fehlen werden, wir gingen behutsamer miteinander umElse Pannek
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Behandle deine Freunde wie Familie und deine Familie wie FreundeMichele Slung
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Was willst du eigentlich? Frage dich das in einer ruhigen Stunde und gib aufrichtig AntwortCarl Hilty Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 12. Oktober 1909) Zur Autorenbiographie
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Beurteile Menschen nicht nach ihrem Schicksal, sondern danach, wie sie es meistern
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Das Glück ist Zufriedenheit, verpackt in Freundlichkeit und HumorChristian Morgenstern Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 31. März 1914) Zur Autorenbiographie
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A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimistsDonald Robert Perry Marquis Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 29. Dezember 1937) Zur Autorenbiographie
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Optimisten und Pessimisten
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A demagogue is a person with whom we disagree as to which gang should mismanage the countryDonald Robert Perry Marquis Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 29. Dezember 1937) Zur Autorenbiographie
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Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterdayDonald Robert Perry Marquis Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 29. Dezember 1937) Zur Autorenbiographie
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innerer Schweinehund
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Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for youDelmore Schwartz
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The best mannered people make the most absurd loversDenis Diderot Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 31. Juli 1784)
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Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.Ronald Reagan
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Wirtschaft
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Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.Ronald Reagan
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One picture is worth thousand denialsRonald Reagan
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