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BrunoVomHumor-Depot

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant.
Every table had an argument going.

George Carlin

Fun

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15.02.2012 - 10:17


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

Streitkultur

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?'
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, 'Why not?'
Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.

George Carlin

Fun
Ironie

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15.02.2012 - 10:16


5,50	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired
and get paid just enough money not to quit

George Carlin

Gemeines

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15.02.2012 - 10:15


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

Have you ever noticed
that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot,
and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

Ironie
Miteinander

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15.02.2012 - 10:13


6,50	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

Atheism is a non-prophet organization

George Carlin

Religiöses

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15.02.2012 - 10:11


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

I was coming home from kindergarten
- well they told me it was kindergarten.
I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years.
It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.

Ellen DeGeneres

Ironie

1 Kommentar

15.02.2012 - 10:09


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

You're only as good as your last haircut

Fran Lebowitz

Ironie

Kommentar eintragen

15.02.2012 - 10:05


3,25	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

There's nothing wrong with being shallow
as long as you're insightful about it

Dennis Miller

Wortspiele
Ironie

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15.02.2012 - 10:03


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

There cannot be a crisis next week
- my schedule is already full

Henry Alfred Kissinger

Ironie
Fun

Kommentar eintragen

15.02.2012 - 10:02


5,50	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

Parents are the last people on earth
who ought to have children

Samuel Butler d.J.

Ironie

Kommentar eintragen

15.02.2012 - 09:59


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

Originality is the fine art of remembering
what you hear but forgetting where you heard it

Laurence J. Peter

Fun

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15.02.2012 - 09:59


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

My uncle Sammy was an angry man.
He had printed on his tombstone:
What are you looking at?

Margaret Smith

Gemeines
Fun

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15.02.2012 - 09:57


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

My grandmother started walking five miles a day
when she was sixty.
She's ninety-seven now,
and we don't know where the hell she is

Ellen DeGeneres

Fun

Kommentar eintragen

15.02.2012 - 09:56


9,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

In comic strips,
the person on the left always speaks first

George Carlin

Metaphern
Ironie

Kommentar eintragen

15.02.2012 - 09:54


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

I've never been married,
but I tell people I'm divorced
so they won't think something's wrong with me

Elayne Boosler

Ironie
Fun

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15.02.2012 - 09:52


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

I wear a necklace,
cause I wanna know when I'm upside down

Mitch Hedberg

Fun

Kommentar eintragen

15.02.2012 - 09:50


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

I was born in very sorry circumstances
- both of my parents were very sorry

Norman Wisdom

Ironie

Kommentar eintragen

15.02.2012 - 09:49


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

I used to sell furniture for a living
- the trouble was, it was my own

Les Dawson

Ironie

Kommentar eintragen

15.02.2012 - 09:48


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

I have never been hurt by what I have not said

Calvin Coolidge

Ironie
Tiefsinniges

Kommentar eintragen

15.02.2012 - 09:45


8,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography
until after they're dead

Samuel Goldwyn

Ironie

Kommentar eintragen

15.02.2012 - 09:43


5,50	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

I cannot sing, dance or act
- what else would I be but a talk show host

David Letterman

Ironie

Kommentar eintragen

15.02.2012 - 09:41


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

He taught me housekeeping
- when I divorce I keep the house

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Ironie

Kommentar eintragen

15.02.2012 - 09:38


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving

Erma Bombeck

Ironie

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15.02.2012 - 09:37


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

Go to Heaven for the climate,
Hell for the company

Mark Twain

Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 21. April 1910)

Zur Autorenbiographie

Ironie

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15.02.2012 - 09:36


5,50	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

BrunoVomHumor-Depot

Behind every great man
is a woman rolling her eyes

Jim Carrey

Mann & Frau

Kommentar eintragen

15.02.2012 - 09:32


0,00	Vote:	10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

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