Two buddhist monks are walking down a road. They see a woman trying to cross a stream. The first monk picks her up and carries her across. She says "thanks" and they go their seperate ways. But the second monk is spitting mad. After a few miles, the second one speaks up, tells the first one: "You violated the rules of our order when you carried that woman across the stream." And the first monk replies: "I may have carried her across the stream - but you've been carrying her ever since."
You ever read the Bible? I read it one time. I was eight years old. My daddy had just got hisself killed over a shot of whisky and my mama said we were going back East to start over. So, she gave me a Bible, sat me down at the train station, told me to read it. She was gonna get our tickets. Well, I did what she said. I read das Bible from cover to cover. Took me three days. She never came back.
He handed her a hundred roses. ninetynine real. One fake. He said "I'll love you until the last one dies." She gladly accepted them. But when she grabbed them she said "One of these is fake!" He said "Exactly. That's because I will love you forever."