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The problem with winning the rat race is you're still a ratLily Tomlin
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The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. George Carlin
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Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' George Carlin
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired George Carlin
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Have you ever noticed George Carlin
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Atheism is a non-prophet organizationGeorge Carlin
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I was coming home from kindergarten Ellen DeGeneres
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You're only as good as your last haircutFran Lebowitz
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There's nothing wrong with being shallow Dennis Miller
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There cannot be a crisis next week Henry Alfred Kissinger
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Parents are the last people on earth Samuel Butler d.J.
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Originality is the fine art of remembering Laurence J. Peter
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My uncle Sammy was an angry man. Margaret Smith
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My grandmother started walking five miles a day Ellen DeGeneres
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In comic strips, George Carlin
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I've never been married, Elayne Boosler
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I wear a necklace, Mitch Hedberg
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I was born in very sorry circumstances Norman Wisdom
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I used to sell furniture for a living Les Dawson
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I have never been hurt by what I have not saidCalvin Coolidge
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I don't think anyone should write their autobiography Samuel Goldwyn
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I cannot sing, dance or act David Letterman
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He taught me housekeeping Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Guilt is the gift that keeps on givingErma Bombeck
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Go to Heaven for the climate, Mark Twain Der Spruch darf mit Autorenangabe frei verwendet werden, da die urheberrechtliche Schutzfrist abgelaufen ist († 21. April 1910)
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